Review Subject

I pick George O'leary and the UCF Football team as my review subject.

Commentary

The University of Central is growing each and every year. New buildings are being built, school population is on the rise, even state tuition is going up. Why then do we have such few parking spots?. Students every day are wasting time and gasoline by roaming around the school for an open spot. Accidents are happening due to students being impatient and being in such a hurry to get to class. The biggest problem is that this issue is not new and is growing. As long as students keep applying to this college, the more parking spots that the university will need. Some questions came to mind after I spent 30 minutes looking for a parking spot. Why hasn't the university done anything to slove this problem?What do students think about the parking crisis? Will the university do anything? Are there any short and long term effects? The answers were not what I thought they were going to be.

The first step to solving a problem is to find out how it started. The parking crisis was caused by two phenomena at UCF, admission rate and new buildings. According to US.news.com, UCF has a total of 42,910 undergraduates and the 2009 fall term had an acceptance rate of 48.3% accepting 3,932 freshman. According to Alex Hammond, a student at UCF, he believes that "most students are coming to UCF because the university is expanding its curriculum by building new buildings, such as the medical school and the new stadium." With all of these students a lot of them must of bought permits. According to UCF parking services, UCF sold 45000 student permits this semester. But how many spots are there for students? According to a programing professor, only 9000. With 5 times as many permits as spots it is quite easy to see why this problem exists.

What does this parking crisis mean to the average UCF student? Surprisingly it means more than spending a ridiculous amount of time driving around for a spot. If you live at one of the off campus housing facilities, such as Pegasus landing or The Edge, the parking crisis is heading your way. According to Trevor Muse, a resident at The Edge, "a lot of students who don't even live here will come here to park so they can use the shuttle to get on to campus." Also with students frantically driving around for a spot, accidents are more prone to happen. According to the Orlando Sentinel, accidents are on the rise ever since the new stadium was built in 2005. Anyone can tell that more accidents means unsafe campus.

What is the University doing about this? In a very literal sense, almost nothing. The two things that they have done was they let students parking on a grassy field next to Greek Road and they increased the amount of shuttle from last year. Is that enough? Of coarse not. The most obvious solution would to build new parking structures. If they keep on building new buildings, why don't they just make a new parking garage? There is plenty of room and every will benefit from it. Maybe UCF should be like other colleges and restrict parking privileges of freshman. The university of Miami doesn't let on campus freshmen to have cars and according to college prowler, they have a parking grade of C+, UCF has a C-. The most drastic solution would be for the University to get even more selective and not accept as many students. With fewer students, there would be more parking spots available.

But what if the University doesn't do anything productive to solve this crisis? University attendance would be gigantic and more a more students would be at UCF. It would get to the point where it is impossible to find parking on campus. The off campus apartment's parking lots would probably be like how UCF is now, with students circling around and around for a parking spot. There would be so many shuttle that the roads would be congested and there would be no quick transportation to class. Alex Hammond, a student at UCF says students might even grow sick a tired and take more aggressive actions. "If the parking issue doesn't get solved soon, I can tell that a lot of students will just grow sick and tired of the situation and some might even protest and riot."

So what if things were different? What if the University solved the problem? Immediate effects are that students would be happier with the university as a whole. With more parking spots the garages would be safer. With more room for attendance the university could see an increase of student applicants which, if accepted, could be turned in to revenue for UCF. Bottom line is, whatever UCF decides to do to fix the parking problem, it needs to be done fast. The problem keeps growing as more and more students apply for UCF.

Works Cited

1. Hammond, Alex interview on October 15th 2009

2. Muse, Trevor interview on October 16th 2009

3.http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/orlando-fl/ucf-3954 October 20th 2009

4. http://collegeprowler.com/university-of-central-florida/parking/ October 20th 2009

5.http://collegeprowler.com/university-of-central-florida/parking/ October 12th 2009

Outline

Outline
I. Introduction
a. Use observations of me trying to get a parking spot
b. Thesis of UCF needing to fix parking crisis
II. What caused this problem
a. increase of admission/applicants
b. new buildings
III. What the ramifications of this problem are
a. interview pieces
b. cite comments done by my peers
IV.What the University should do about this
a. what is the university is doing now
b. mention that this problem will not go away anytime soon
V. Ask the question what will happen if we dont do anything
a. Include peoples angry opinions
b.paint a picture of the future
VI. Conclusion
a. Answer the question "What would it be like if things were different?

Thesis with Paragraph

The University of Central is growing each and every year. New buildings are being built, school population is on the rise, even state tuition is going up. Why then do we have such few parking spots?. Students every day are wasting time and gasoline by roaming around the school for an open spot. Accidents are happening due to students being impatient and being in such a hurry to get to class. The biggest problem is that this issue is not new and is growing. As long as students keep applying to this college, the more parking spots that the university will need. Some questions came to mind after I spent 30 minutes looking for a parking spot. Why hasn't the university done anything to slove this problem?What do students think about the parking crisis? Will the university do anything? Are there any short and long term effects? The answers were not what I thought they were going to be.

Letter to a Friend

Dear Friend at UF

Whats up man, how have you been? I hope things for you up at U of F are going great with Tim Tebow on the football team. How is parking up there? If its anything like down here I bet you can't get a spot huh? Jesus christ its so freaking bad here. Did you know that they gave out 45,000 permits for only 9000 spots? Ridiculous! And now people are starting to park at off campus housing apartments. Since I live at The Edge I bet you can understand how this affects me! Now the parking crisis is moving to my place of residence. What I don't understand is why are they building tons of other buildings but they haven't built more parking structures. I mean I appreciate all of the new buildings that they have built but what good is it if I can't park on campus? Ugh, oh well I guess you are lucky that you don't have to deal with it. I'll see ya when you come home.

Later,

Frank Helligner

Questions

1. What is the real problem with the parking that everyone is worried about?
Not getting a spot
2. How many parking spots does UCF have?
9000
3. How many permits did parking services give out this semester?
45000
4. Where are people parking now when they can't find a spot?
Off campus housing parking lots, then they take a shuttle on to campus.
5. Is there a group or organization that is petitioning for parking reform?

Only on facebook. So no not really.
6.How do you know what you know? (evidence)
Several fourm sites and the Central Florida Future.
7.Who are you to the subject? (perspective)
The students who drive on to campus for class.
8. How is this event connected to other events? (patterns or opposing forces)
If you do anything on campus, chances are that you drive here. Anything that is on campus, from classes to recreational activities, you would be connected to this issue.
9.What if things were different? (suppositions/predictions)
Then everyone would be happy and have a spot.
10. Why is this important? (significance)
Because if something isn't done with this issue, then 50,000 students will be mad and parking issues will go up.

commentary

UCF is now in the top 5 largest universities in the entire nation. If we have such a huge population, then why do we have such a severe parking problem? Its coming to the point where a student has to arrive at 7am to be guaranteed a spot. Logically, when the University grows, wouldn't the amount of parking structures increase with the population? And with all of the construction going on on campus, why haven't they built a new parking structure yet? They have built a med school, a stadium, and several other buildings that well bring revenue and scholarship to the school. Why in all of this time have they not yet built another parking structure? What good is a university if the students cannot get a parking spot.

One way that students have gone around the parking problem is by parking at off campus housing settlements (The Edge, Pegasus Landing, Northgate ect). But does this solve the problem or does it just move it? If everyone started to park at these places, then there wouldn't be any parking for the people that actually live there. Ultimately the university is responsible for the answer to this problem.

commentary ideas

1. how every one wears iPods to class

2. People wearing other college gear.

3. The lack of parking with the increasing of student population

Final Draft

I wouldn't call myself a pessimist, but I do admit that I find life to be more sad than happy. That no matter how good things are in one moment, the world is full of hate and depression. The concept of yin and yang comes to mind, that both good and evil live in harmony. I find that awfully biased. I will hope for the best, but sometimes I lose hope and accept the inevitable, that in a world of good and evil, evil will win. I wish I wasn't like that but I do know why I am like that.

I have always enjoyed flying. Being 30,000 feet in the air made me feel powerful. Not like Chuck Norris, but more in the sense that I was part of the great human races whose potential was bound only by the confines of ones own imagination. Even if I was seated right in front of a screaming baby whose parents didn't know how to make him be quiet, I had my good friend Mr iPod. Flying relaxed me. Just me, music and the clouds. I think I slept on the plane, thinking about my mission work in Peru. I got to help people get their first eye exam and glasses. Peruvians as young as 4 to as old as 89. Helping these unfortunate people gave me a emotional high. I felt good about myself and I felt that there is a lot of good in the world. After about 4 hours of ecstasy in the sky we arrived at our destination.

Miami might have beautiful beaches and breath taking women, but the airport is disgusting. Sea foam blue carpet with green and gray inlays made me feel sick. The whole "chi" of the places made me feel like I had to sneeze but for some reason i couldn't. I hate that feeling. Maybe the design of the international wing was designed so that you would get so uncomfortable that you wanted to leave the terminal. That the only safe refuge was baggage claim. Ironic it is that those walls made me feel trapped, isolated and abandoned.

I needed an escape from this torture. I walked over to the vending machine and pulled my wallet and scrambled for a dollar. I felt currency but it was a Peruvian Sol, useless. “Can you spot me a buck?” I asked my grandad. He waddled over and bought me my Coke. The cool beverage tasted so good. The feeling didn't last, however, as we heard a shriek from down the terminal.

“IS ANYONE A DOCTOR? HELP!”

My grandad, fortunately, was a doctor and he ran down the hall. I rushed after him in amazement at both how my grandad can run so fast, and at how empty the terminal was. There were no other flights. No airport employes. No vendors selling food. No other help. After the longest 20 seconds of my life we finally reached the downed women. She was Peruvian, around 38 years of age, and on the heavy side. She wasn't breathing and she was twitching. My grandad immediately began emergency CPR.

“Does anyone know who she is?” asked my grandad.

No one said anything. A man stepped forward and spoke something in Spanish. He held out her passport and motioned that they were together. My grandad asked him if she had allergies and the other obligatory questions. He couldn't speak any English.

“Frank, go back and get the A.E.D from the airplane. Hurry!” my grandad ordered.

I sprinted back to the plane, rushing past all of the other passengers. The run seemed to last forever. The plane was no more than one hundred yards away, but it seemed like and eternity. As I got to the plane they told me that the A.E.D was broken. Apparently checking the emergency equipment isn't a part of the take off procedures. I left the plane and headed back to the dying woman. By now a crowd of 20 people were around her. All of them huddled around my grandad. I delivered the news of the broken A.E.D to him. From then on the situation turned from bad to hopeless.

At that point everyone started to look for help. There was a locked door right next to us and one person broke down the door and rushed through. Someone else noticed that the Peruvian man disappeared. Two people ran down the terminal to try and find him. A woman pulled a fire alarm. The ringing of the bells put everything in to motion for me. A dying stranger brought 20 people together to try and save her life. Normally I would spend the time walking to baggage claim in peace listening to my iPod. Now I felt like a hero, saving an innocent woman's life.

After 8 minutes of horror we saw the fire department on the air field. They approached the woman in the laziest fashion possible.

“Hurry! This woman is dying!” someone yelled, trying to speed up the firemen.

“Sir, calm down we are coming.” Barked a fireman. It was obvious that they would take their sweet time to climb up the stairs.

These men were not servants of the people, they were lazy men who were not concerned with the well being of a dying foreigner. Watching them relieve the duty of my grandad angered me. He was the only one doing anything productive for the woman. Handing them over to them was putting the nail in the coffin for her. They took out a stretcher and took the woman down to the air field back to the ambulance. Our moment of glory turned to rage, and later depression and lament.

The rest of our time at the airport was spent talking to police and giving complaints about the lazy firemen. They disregarded our complaints and told us we could leave. We got on a bus that would take us to Orlando. No one talked the entire time we traveled. Everyone was sad, thinking about the now dead woman. I sat there on the quiet bus contemplating on what happened. Why did it seem that the fire department cared so little about a foreigner? Would things have been different if she was white? Why was the terminal so secluded from the rest of the airport? I never felt so low. I just got back from a mission trip feeling great about myself and then this happened. Was god himself mocking my existence? Was there no hope for humanity? Why was the world so cruel? I fell asleep thinking these questions.

We later find out that the woman died of a drug overdose. She didn't use the drugs, she was just a carrier for the drug dealer she was transporting for. Ironic, that after no more than 5 minutes in the United States, that she would die. I think that I could have kept my hope for the world if I never knew about this.

Memo

Ms. Moody
Frank Hellinger
September 17, 2009
The reviews in class were tedious, but they were very helpful. Getting a second pair of eyes on my paper helped me find things that I normally wouldn't find. Though they were mostly grammatical errors, I still found the insight significant in the proofreading process.
My lack of a topic was the greatest concern from my partner. He said that I did a great job setting the scene and I did a magnificent job using descriptive text, but I didn't lead the reader into figuring out what the memoir was about. I had two paragraphs written; one was describing my love for flying and the other was describing the scene of the airport. I grabbed the reader and put him in my shoes, but i did not get started in the story. I plan on combining the two paragraphs and starting the story in the new second paragraph.
The other helpful piece of advice was that i might want to hold back on the dark humor. I included this humor because it was ironic and a great way to describe scenes . I do recognize that I must get rid of the humor and get in to the serious gear sometime. Therefore, I probably won't include more humor.

I found these peer reviews helpful and I do plan on including the advice my partner has given me. I do hope that we have more of these because it is kinda like going to the writing center. I feel confident that the review will help me write a fantastic paper.

Miami, post-Peru

I have always enjoyed flying. Being 30,000 feet in the air made me feel powerful. Not like Chuck Norris, but more in the sense that i was part of the great human races whose potential was bound only by the confines of ones own imagination. Even if I was seated right in front of a screaming baby whose parents didn't know how to make him be quiet, I had my good friend Mr iPod. Flying relaxed me. Just me, music and the clouds. Sometimes I would get off the plane and wish I could go back and fly forever. This one time, I greatly regret not doing so.

Miami might have beautiful beaches and breath taking women, but the airport is disgusting. Sea foam blue carpet with green and gray inlays made me feel sick. The whole "chi" of the places made me feel like I had to sneeze but for some reason i couldn't. I hate that feeling. Maybe the design of the international wing was designed so that you would get so uncomfortable that you wanted to leave the terminal. That the only safe refuge was baggage claim. Ironic it is that those walls made me feel trapped, isolated and abandoned.

What I did for brainstorming.

1. For this one i looked over some trail maps to figure out where exactly I went (this happend 5 years ago) and I looked at some old photos of Aspen

2. I pictued the scene of the accidnet and drew a mental picture in my head.

3. Wrote a brief intro and looked at a letter that my Grandad sent to the airport complaining on the "poor service that the fire department showed"

memior ideas

My three ideas are

1. Once when i was snowboarding in Aspen, I got fed up with how many people were on the slopes and I went off the ski trails and ended up getting really lost.

2.I got in a car accident that was completely my fault, but the guy didnt want to call the cops or his insurance so i got off the hook.

3. When i got back from a mission trip to Lima, Peru a woman fainted and later died when we got off the plane in Miami. The police later found out she was carrying cocaine in her stomach and the charger that she was carrying it in burst which caused her to die.

What do you think i should write about?