Memo

Ms. Moody
Frank Hellinger
September 17, 2009
The reviews in class were tedious, but they were very helpful. Getting a second pair of eyes on my paper helped me find things that I normally wouldn't find. Though they were mostly grammatical errors, I still found the insight significant in the proofreading process.
My lack of a topic was the greatest concern from my partner. He said that I did a great job setting the scene and I did a magnificent job using descriptive text, but I didn't lead the reader into figuring out what the memoir was about. I had two paragraphs written; one was describing my love for flying and the other was describing the scene of the airport. I grabbed the reader and put him in my shoes, but i did not get started in the story. I plan on combining the two paragraphs and starting the story in the new second paragraph.
The other helpful piece of advice was that i might want to hold back on the dark humor. I included this humor because it was ironic and a great way to describe scenes . I do recognize that I must get rid of the humor and get in to the serious gear sometime. Therefore, I probably won't include more humor.

I found these peer reviews helpful and I do plan on including the advice my partner has given me. I do hope that we have more of these because it is kinda like going to the writing center. I feel confident that the review will help me write a fantastic paper.